Everywhere I've been looking lately, I've been seeing people talk about sex. Whether virtual or discriminatory. The main point of it all, is that even after all this time, we haven't solved it, or figured it out to the point that everyone can agree. Now, I'm a big supporter that regardless of what anyone says, somethings are right, and some things are wrong. To me, figuring out the gray area, is what can lead us to advancement.
One of the problems with solving gray areas, and lets say, sexism, is that each man and woman is different. We are not all stereotypes. We are different gradations of what is expected, and because of that, there is no universal truth of what it means to be a woman, or a man, or gay, or straight. So what we have is each person's view of what it means to be a man and a woman, and they judge everything from that point of view. That point of view is formed by their parents, and by things that happened while they were growing up, and by in born genetic/hormonal effects (nurture AND nature). This means, that you have by default, your hormonal sex drive, which influences your behavior. Next you have what your parents taught you, or how they behaved around you while growing up (this can lead either to positive or negative views of what is taught), followed by events from outside the family unit (which either contradict or reinforce what the family taught).
So if your view is that "women like talking about clothing and shoes, and don't like to play sports, and since not many women are in the sciences, that means that women are stupid," then that is how you perceive every female. You then grade every woman you meet based on those criteria, and if they are more aggressive, then they are dykes, if they are smarter, then they have no life and never had sex, etc etc. You do the same thing for men, for children, for yourself. You also reflect what you think others think about you, and you add their views of you to how you view them. This all gets pretty complicated and layered in your head, even without really thinking about it.
So what stops people from becoming educated about the fact that not everyone fits a stereotype, and therefore proceed OUT of this misogynistic, anti-ethnic, xenophobic loop each and every generation?
The first hurdle is slowly being overtaken, which is globalization. By allowing us to more easily see the entire world, we can more easily come to understand the similarities that ties us together as a human race.
The second hurdle, is intelligence. I'm sorry to say, that there are many stupid people in the world, and as long as those people remain stupid, then we cannot even begin to challenge their way of thinking, since stupidity leads to the mule effect (stubbornness).
The third hurdle is ingrained teachings. This does not necessarily go hand in hand with stupidity, but it has similar traits. This is religion, fundamentalism, social nationalism, and other cult like brainwashing things.
Since intelligence is on a bell curve, we can assume, that 20-30% of people will always be too stupid to be reformed at an older age, meaning that we need to teach them before they are taught bigotry from their parents. This would also cover the ingrained teachings part.
"each man and woman is different. We are not all stereotypes. We are different gradations of what is expected, and because of that, there is no universal truth of what it means to be a woman, or a man, or gay, or straight."
ReplyDeleteThis. So much this. It wears me down trying to explain this and always get a reply that "but women are different in the aspect XX". I hate, simply hate the women-are-different-kind of feminism because it reinforces stereotypes. As long as it dominates the debate we won't get anywhere. Imho.
I agree with the above. at the same time i dont like the other extreme either; i dont like people stating that we all have to be the same or completely nullify gender - I like diversity. I see nothing wrong with it as long as we can value the differences and dont 'have to act' a certain way if we dont want to.
ReplyDeleteI dont think equality means we need to be the same or deny something that is part of our nature or identity. if i cannot let my better half carry the heavier bag anymore simply because he IS physically stronger, then thats not an achievement for equality, thats just lack of common sense. there's nothing wrong with a physically stronger 'person' helping out a physically weaker 'person' likewise there's things that I am better at than he is.
it's what makes these discussions so tricky: you got extremes waiting at either end of them. it's easier for me to state what makes me feel uneasy about something than to define the ideal state of things.
I do like your reference to the intelligence part btw Pangoria: it is actually a valid point that get's overseen too often. I reckon we try not to sound 'elitist' but in the end it does come down to things like intelligence and education too.
Thank you for the comments.
ReplyDeleteI feel that perhaps it was my own personal experience growing up, that left me at a certain point of understanding. Even now, my wife is the mechanic, fixing the car, while I'm more into fixing computers. Nothing to do with our genders, but everything to do with what we grew up with, our parents, and our personal preferences.