Romance stories have a place in this world.
Not as fodder to sensitive people. Not as porn for women. But as guides of idealized actions.
That’s what happens a lot of times with fan fiction stories. People write idealizations. Perfect scenarios. This is where fanfiction gains a great deal of stigma compared to published works. There is a lack of true threat. People can only win so much before it becomes boring in a story.
But in real life, we accept winning over and over as amazing. Especially when we can understand that someone has worked towards that goal. But we fail to see the failures. Take, Michael Phelps for example. He wins. I mean, he WINS. But we must understand that before each win he has achieved, he failed. He fails somewhere in his life. We just don’t see it.
Stories require conflict and success. It needs imperfections. Finally, because humans are creatures of patterns, we have to connect dots and causality.
But real life isn’t like that.
Real life isn’t a romance story. We don’t have a meet cute. We have exposure and time. We have conversations and hormones. We have false starts and mixed signals.
So, how do romance novels help?
They give us a roadmap on behavior. Where the negative lies, and where it can transition to positives. It shows people how behavior can change, and what the possible results can be. It asks the question: If you love this person, why do you not behave in this way?
In the end we are our actions. Changing our actions, changes who we are, regardless of the reason.
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